Friday, October 8, 2010

Bad buskers, super pigeons and a sex thesis...

Buskers. When they're good, they can add colour and energy to a tedious city day. But, sadly, not all buskers are quite so musically gifted, which has resulted in the council in Richmond, North Yorkshire to consider trying to implement a new by-law in order to prevent a group of particularly appalling buskers from continuing their trade...

Apparently, the unnamed group of buskers have played accordion in Richmond for the last two years and, while they may only know one song, they make up for this with their stamina as they are allegedly quite happy to play that one song (When the Saints Go Marching In) for more than ten hours at a time. Strangely enough, the local shopkeepers have become a little fed up of the rendition; local shopkeeper, Gary Evans, was quoted as saying "People come into the shop and say, ‘They only know one song and they can’t even play that properly’. Some days it drives you insane."

But, while the residents of Richmond are today feeling depressed, Darren Cubberly of Dudley, West Midlands is overjoyed at the fact that his racing pigeon - presumed lost, possibly dead - has turned up safe and well and on the other side of the world...

The pigeon, called Houdini (cue suitably awful newspaper headlines about 'great escapes' no doubt) was meant to be racing from the island of Guernsey to Dudley - a trip of about 224 miles (360km) five weeks ago but vanished without a trace. Darren was therefore overjoyed, and a little confused, when he received a call from one Gustavo Ortiz, more than 4,700 miles (7,000km) away in Panama City, who had found Houdini on his roof. Current theories are that Houdini hitched a lift on a ship across the Atlantic...

But, undoubtedly, the story that has set the internet aflame with interest is that of Karen Owen and her mock thesis - 'An Education Beyond the Classroom: Excelling in the Realm of Horizontal Academics'...

Karen decided that she should chronicle her sexual history at Duke University in the form of a 41 slide powerpoint presentation that she then sent to three close friends. In it, she detailed all 13 men (along with photographs) that she had slept with during her years at University and, rather helpfully, rated them in a variety of areas including:
  • Physical attractiveness
  • Size
  • Talent
  • Creativity
  • Aggressiveness
  • Entertainment
  • Athletic ability
The men on her list could also earn bonus points (apparently an Australian accent, for example, is worth bonus points).

Now, if that powerpoint file had just stayed with those three close friends then we wouldn't be talking about it today, would we? Well, one of the friends decided to forward it and...well...the rest is history. Don't these people understand that whole 'viral internet' thing???

Needless to say, the detailed sexual history of Karen Owen has now been forwarded all over the world and led to red faces for many of those who received a comprehensive assessment (in particularly the one that is allegedly meant to be getting married this weekend). However, if you feel compelled to read Ms. Owen's magnum opus in its entirety then you can find it (for now, at least) right here...

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Sex tapes, unsavoury views and a decision to make King Solomon proud...

For reasons known only to themselves, people in the Netherlands are showing not inconsiderable interest in the Kim Kardashian sex tape. Considering this tape came out in 2007, it would seem that their Google searching is a little out-of-date but, nonetheless, it has rocketed Ms. Kardashian into the top spot of rising celebrity searches in the past week...

And, while the Dutch were hoping to catch a glimpse of something not intended for public viewing, Google Street View was experiencing its own problems with content that shouldn't really see the light of day. You see, while the fanfare of the Antarctic Street View garnered plenty of positive publicity for the Big G, the launch of Street View in Brazil had one or two minor hiccups. For example, the fact that within a day of the service going live two corpses were discovered (one in Rio, one in Belo Horizonte) is likely to have proved a little embarrassing for Google...

Meanwhile, in India, all of the hype surrounded the court decision that would settle the Ayodhya dispute. This is a centuries-old debate between Muslims and Hindus over a patch of land (measuring about 1,080 square metres) that both sides feel is sacred and which has been battled over in the courts since 1949 (with eleven different judges presiding over it). Finally, this week, the High Court of Allahabad set forth a 8,500 page verdict which - in essence (and in a seemingly blatant rip off of King Solomon's landmark judicial ruling) - asks for everyone to just get along and share the land. Rather unsurprisingly, opinion among commentators seems to be split, with some seeing it as a landmark decision to ensure future peace and others seeing as a bit of a cop out that doesn't really solve anything. I guess only time will tell which it is...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Real names only please...

The internet is all aquiver with the news that Blizzard have made the decision that users of their Battle.net forums will have to start using their real names on the forum:

"The first and most significant change is that in the near future, anyone posting or replying to a post on official Blizzard forums will be doing so using their Real ID -- that is, their real-life first and last name"

But surely online pseudonyms and make-believe are an integral and accepted element of the internet (on the internet, nobody knows you're a dog...) - why would you want to change that Blizzard? Well, apparently:

"Removing the veil of anonymity typical to online dialogue will contribute to a more positive forum environment, promote constructive conversations, and connect the Blizzard community in ways they haven’t been connected before."

Oh, that's right - because people never argue with each other when they know each other's real names. Well, I hate to break it to Blizzard, but I don't see that 'removing the veil of anonymity' is going to make a huge difference to the quality of online dialogue - but it could make a huge difference as to how such dialogue can be escalated.

Have a fairly unique name? Well, you might just find that the person you vehemently disagreed with about the exact mechanics of the Zerg Rush is now banging on your front door hoping to continue the disagreement in real life. And they brought a shotgun to add merit to their perspective. Or maybe they didn't disagree - maybe they agreed very strongly with you - and now, they're in lurve with you - chalk up yourself one internet stalker. And that is just the tip of a particularly unpleasant iceberg...

There are so many drawbacks to this idea - and the community is so inflamed - that I will be surprised if Blizzard go through with this. And, if they do, don't be surprised if there are soon tumbleweeds blowing through large sections of the Battle.net forums.