Friday, October 8, 2010

Bad buskers, super pigeons and a sex thesis...

Buskers. When they're good, they can add colour and energy to a tedious city day. But, sadly, not all buskers are quite so musically gifted, which has resulted in the council in Richmond, North Yorkshire to consider trying to implement a new by-law in order to prevent a group of particularly appalling buskers from continuing their trade...

Apparently, the unnamed group of buskers have played accordion in Richmond for the last two years and, while they may only know one song, they make up for this with their stamina as they are allegedly quite happy to play that one song (When the Saints Go Marching In) for more than ten hours at a time. Strangely enough, the local shopkeepers have become a little fed up of the rendition; local shopkeeper, Gary Evans, was quoted as saying "People come into the shop and say, ‘They only know one song and they can’t even play that properly’. Some days it drives you insane."

But, while the residents of Richmond are today feeling depressed, Darren Cubberly of Dudley, West Midlands is overjoyed at the fact that his racing pigeon - presumed lost, possibly dead - has turned up safe and well and on the other side of the world...

The pigeon, called Houdini (cue suitably awful newspaper headlines about 'great escapes' no doubt) was meant to be racing from the island of Guernsey to Dudley - a trip of about 224 miles (360km) five weeks ago but vanished without a trace. Darren was therefore overjoyed, and a little confused, when he received a call from one Gustavo Ortiz, more than 4,700 miles (7,000km) away in Panama City, who had found Houdini on his roof. Current theories are that Houdini hitched a lift on a ship across the Atlantic...

But, undoubtedly, the story that has set the internet aflame with interest is that of Karen Owen and her mock thesis - 'An Education Beyond the Classroom: Excelling in the Realm of Horizontal Academics'...

Karen decided that she should chronicle her sexual history at Duke University in the form of a 41 slide powerpoint presentation that she then sent to three close friends. In it, she detailed all 13 men (along with photographs) that she had slept with during her years at University and, rather helpfully, rated them in a variety of areas including:
  • Physical attractiveness
  • Size
  • Talent
  • Creativity
  • Aggressiveness
  • Entertainment
  • Athletic ability
The men on her list could also earn bonus points (apparently an Australian accent, for example, is worth bonus points).

Now, if that powerpoint file had just stayed with those three close friends then we wouldn't be talking about it today, would we? Well, one of the friends decided to forward it and...well...the rest is history. Don't these people understand that whole 'viral internet' thing???

Needless to say, the detailed sexual history of Karen Owen has now been forwarded all over the world and led to red faces for many of those who received a comprehensive assessment (in particularly the one that is allegedly meant to be getting married this weekend). However, if you feel compelled to read Ms. Owen's magnum opus in its entirety then you can find it (for now, at least) right here...

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