The World Cup dominates...

Image, Reuters

Unless you have been hiding underneath a rock, you can't have failed to notice that the World Cup is now officially upon us...

South Africa opened the tournament with an enthusiastic, but slightly naive, display of football against Mexico. For much of the first half, their defence seemed quite content to give the Mexican attackers as much space as they wanted and it was, therefore, a little surprising to all concerned that, despite some good chances and a goal ruled out for offside (which may explain the flurry of google searches on 'football offside rule'), Mexico and South Africa went in level at half-time. It was even more surprising when, ten minutes into the second half, Siphiwe Tshabalala rifled a stunning left foot shot into the net to give South Africa the lead. For a while it seemed that South Africa were going to get their fairytale beginning but, in the 79th minute, Mexico's Marquez levelled the score and it ended 1-1.

In comparison, the second match of the day - between Uruguay and France - was the sort of game that people who don't like football use as an example of why they don't like football. And they have a point. Uruguay were game but lacked the necessary class, while many of France's players looked like they'd clearly rather be somewhere other than the pitch. A drab and largely dull game, it could perhaps be prescribed to insomniacs for its soporific qualities. It ended nil-nil, which, quite frankly, flattered all involved...

But, while most of the world was getting overexcited at the prospect of the World Cup, a large number of people in the US were far more interested in January Jones - who was involved in a car crash and then fled the scene, blaming paparazzi (note to self: try this next time something like this happens) - and John Goodman who appears to have lost about 30% of his body weight.

Tomorrow, it will be interesting to see if the US joins the rest of the world in going utterly World Cup crazy as Team USA gear up for their big battle with England. Although, I wouldn't like to bet serious money on it, to be honest...

Google Backgrounds, Swapped Husbands and Russell Crowe...

Image, Reuters

Google appeared right at the top of its own trends for much of today after its decision to radically alter its home page. If you have happened to visit Google today then you will likely not have failed to notice that, where there used to be a plain white background, there now sits a picture of a field, or a porcelain pig, or Lindsay Lohan on stilts (ok, I might have made the last one up), etc.

Now me, personally, I don't care. Picture, no picture - I'm there for that search bar at the top so it doesn't make a whole lot of difference to me. But, it would seem I am very much in the minority as no sooner had the change hit, then the internet was awash with a wave of 'remove Google background' searches; in fact, enough of them for it make headline news.

And, with such a monumental internet upheaval going on, it would be very easy for many of today's trending topics to get lost in the rush. But, fear not, that's why I'm here!

Marie Anne Thiebaud hit the trends earlier, much as she had done last year when it was announced that Shania Twain and her husband, Mutt Lange, were splitting up due to the fact he was having an affair with her friend and secretary, Marie Anne Thiebaud. However, Marie was hitting the headlines today because Shania walked out with her new beau, Frederic Thiebaud.

'That's a curious coincidence', you are probably saying to yourself at this moment. Swiftly followed up by 'I would never have thought Thiebaud was such a common name'.

To which I say - 'no, it's not' and 'NO, it's NOT!'

Yes, that's right - Shania Twain is now dating the ex-husband of the ex-friend/secretary who is currently dating Shania Twain's ex-husband. Surely it's not just me who finds that a little on the bizarre side?

Oh, and Russell Crowe is not dead.

I wanted to tell you because, sitting at the very top of the trends this evening is the currently circulating rumour that Russell Crowe is dead. According to various internet sources, Russell Crowe died from a fall while filming in Austria. However, it's just not true.

Russell Crowe is the latest celebrity to fall foul of the hugely quick, often largely mindless, viral capabilities of the internet. Last week it was James Avery (aka Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince of Bel Air) and Mark Calaway (aka The Undertaker), this week it's Russell Crowe. None of them are dead. Yet.

Apparently, I'm an internet millionaire...

Cubestat is a site that is intended to calculate the number of visitors, the amount of advertising revenue and the overall value of a website.

If you use it to check out one of the most popular blogs in the world - Huffington Post (which is ranked as the Number 1 blog on Technorati) - then you will find that it gets over 6 million page visits, generates almost $19,000 in daily advertising revenue and is worth almost $14 million.

However, somehow, this blog that you are currently reading - which was created six days ago - is outstripping that by far. In fact, according to Cubestat, I'm getting 125 million visitors a day, earning $375,000 in daily advertising revenue and have a site worth $273 million. Not bad going for a blog that's less than a week old, eh?

And it's not just Cubestat who are slightly overestimating Pulse of the Net - Alexa, who rank web statistics are of the impression that this blog is linked to by over 430,000 sites...

I intend not to complain about these slight discrepancies with reality and am now considering putting Pulse of the Net on the market for a one-time-special, bargain basement price of $100 million. Any takers?

Bond villains, lewdness and fastballs...

Today, everything I thought I knew about the world has been turned on its head. Up until this point, I was pretty sure that if you were a woman called Goga, were pictured posing with a hunting bird on your hand and said things like "I want to conquer the world" then it was only a matter of time before Roger Moore turned up and the two of you were sailing off, probably semi-naked, in a mini-sub...

But, after investigating a trending topic for Goga Ashkenazi, it turns out that Goga is not a character out of a late 1970s James Bond movie - instead, she is a billionaire female oligarch who is close buddies with Prince Andrew and - based upon the recent spate of articles in the British press - seems to be very much on a PR drive (possibly to lull us all into a false sense of security while she quietly goes about building her orbital laser weapon).

Also currently trending highly is Suzanne Corona, who was caught engaged in an act of 'lewdness' with a half naked man who wasn't her husband. Ok, so that by itself probably isn't particularly newsworthy. But Mrs Corona has been charged with adultery and is facing a fine and up to 90 days in prison. Ok, you say, I've heard about this before - it was somewhere like Dubai, right? Which is exactly why it's newsworthy - Suzanne Corona has been charged in New York State, USA - only the 13th person to be charged with the offence there since 1972.

So, obviously, a huge number of people are checking out the internet to query the legality of this decision and to question the hypocrisy of the USA's previous criticism of such cases in the Middle East, right? Well, no...

Actually - just like with the case of Debralee Lorenzana - people are busily searching away trying to find pictures of her and/or her Facebook account...

And finally, to baseball. I know, I know, baseball again. But it's really not my fault - I merely head in the direction that the search engine Gods point me. Today, they pointed me in the direction of one Stephen Strasburg. If the name means nothing to you, don't worry - unless you follow baseball, he's likely not on your radar. Much like the fastball he throws - which has been measured at a, frankly ridiculous, 103mph (a speed only three people in history have officially matched, and only one bettered). Last night, Stephen Strasburg, who was the number 1 pick in the 2009 draft, stepped out for the first time in Major League Baseball as probably the most hyped pitcher ever. Not to mention the most expensive draft signing ever ($15.1 million plus incentives, if numbers are your thing). So, no pressure on the 21yr old then...

But Mr. Strasburg duly stepped up and delivered on the hype; becoming only the third pitcher in Major League history to strikeout 14 batters on his debut. Only time will tell whether Stephen Strasburg has what it takes to go on and be a legend in the game, but few pitchers can claim to have made a better start...

So, what lessons have we learned today? Well, if a woman called Goga moves into an underground lair on a tropical island near you, be a tad concerned; if you can throw a baseball very fast, you can make yourself very rich and, if you're going to be heading out for some public lewdness tonight in the New York State area, make sure you're not married...

MTV Rocks the Trends...

Ok, let's get the big trend out of the way first of all. Yes, that is a picture of Sandra Bullock kissing Scarlett Johansson to our left - that's right Sandra Bullock kissing Scarlett Johansson. Don't you feel just utterly shocked? I mean, that's just not the sort of thing you expect to happen at MTV Awards...

So, with (seemingly) half of the world trying their best to find out more about the MTV girl-on-girl action, the other half were appreciating Tom Cruise's dance skills. No really. In character (from Tropic Thunder) as Les Grossman, Tom Cruise and Jennifer Lopez wowed the crowd with an upbeat dance routine. Seriously. Go and have a look if you don't believe me...

And even when MTV weren't trending high due to their awards, they were still seeing searches pouring their way due to the The Hard Times of RJ Berger, which is a single-camera sitcom about a 15yr old boy with a large penis.

Yes, read that again just to make sure you didn't miss it the first time: The Hard Times of RJ Berger, which is a single-camera sitcom about a 15yr old boy with a large penis. Or at least, about a 15yr old geek who, due to a 'wardrobe malfunction' during a basketball game shows off his, allegedly substantial, meat and two veg to the entire school. Little House on the Prairie it clearly isn't.

Of course, it is difficult to resist slipping into innuendo when considering such a topic, but I will do my very best to simply give my objective opinion on the show. While the show stands up well for itself, the question is whether it has the staying power to last the course; it will be hard to maintain for a whole season and runs the risk of ending up limp, nay even flaccid, entertainment. Of course, I could be wrong and it ends up a grower...

There. Glad I was able to resist the innuendo possibilities...